Monday, October 29, 2007

Cedric Benson: Fail -- by J.O.B.

1) After the first episode of the new season of Heroes, I was slightly concerned but not too much, considering that the first 5 seasons are tentatively planned. Now, I am once again angry about the distance between one Monday's 9 o'clock and the next Monday's 8. Is there a better hour-long drama with this size ensemble cast?

2) Most teams that aren't championship ready are usually missing one of two weapons on offense: a very solid and reliable QB or a very solid and reliable RB. The Bears have neither. Here's a "guess the RB" for you: Guess the RB that sits in the top 3 in rushing attempts in the entire NFL but isn't even in the top 45 in yards per carry. If you guessed Cedric Benson - the guy who complained about not getting enough carries Sunday - you win! Tell 'em what they've won Johnny! "You've won a fabulous trip to a top 10 pick in 2008!" His longest run from scrimmage for this team this year is 16 yards. You have to 55 deep on the leading rushers to find a guy with a shorter "longest run" from scrimmage. This team has come in woefully unprepared at the RB spot, which I believe I pointed out early on. While 4 interceptions (3 in the endzone) is unacceptable, who needs to put 8 in the box when you know you've got a RB with no patience and no burst. He can't find holes and when he finally does, he goes through them like he's running on his knees. Try running on your knees right now. Not very fast.

3) You really forget how being utterly sick is until you're sick again. Three days ago, I probably would have been only able to tell you that being sick sucks. Today, I am once again an expert. Achy, hot, then cold, then hot again, with a splitting headache and a throat that's swollen more shut than AWM's after a bad semen reaction. They will cure cancer before they cure the common cold. I am death warmed over.

4) I don't care if I'm on my deathbed on Friday, I will be in a theater watching American Gangster.

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