Monday, February 19, 2007

At Least You're Not Her -- J.O.B.

1) Britney Spears - thanks for playing. Don Pardo, tell her what she's won!!! Why Ms. Spears you've won the home version of our game as well as a Debbie Gibson starter kit. Make sure to drop off your kids at the door and tip your waitress. Holy crap, what happened to this chick? If I could see the home video of her life, I'd like to see the single point when she realized, "I'm in my early twenties, I dropped the guy who is now the current King of Pop and I have two kids by a guy who has the talent of a 7-year old with Downs, MS and rickets and I don't even know what rickets are." There's always a singular point where the snap happens. Good luck.

2) I'm still not actually awake. We threw a surprise birthday party for my Mom yesterday, so my morning chore was to break up the ice that accumulated on the driveway - can't have old people slipping and falling on your property - funny as it might be. Anyway, I spent over an hour piledriving a shovel into multi-inch thick sheets of ice by hand. Why not just put salt down? My father-in-law, who has been in the cement biz for over 40 years says it's a no-no. My body is very angry with me right now.

3) They should have given Dwight Howard the dunk trophy the minute he slapped a sticker 12'6" up the backboard while dunking with his other hand.

4) The celeb crush on Bridgette Moynahan is over. Word is that Dreamboat knocked her up and left her. On the plus side, it proves that Tom Brady is in fact, not perfect. On the minus side, when I was actually dating I tried to not date women with kids - I'm surely not going to have celebrity crushes on chicks with "babydaddies." Where's some Evangeline Lilly pics when you need them. *Sob*


jnicho5 said...

You f-in-law (kind of funny huh?) might be thinking of the industrial salt a lot of places use to clear ice. Its hard stuff that stains sidewalks and driveways. It takes a lot of scrubbin' to get rid of that stuff.

But I think if you're willing to do the scrubbin' you should be able to throw down som salt.

Skurny said...

Two things bother me about Goal #4:

1. She's a townie (Mass local). Beware the townie.

2. The Publicist says, "Privacy would be appreciated"...then why say that A) she's pregnant and B) That Brady was the father.