Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Here I is -- by J.O.B.

1) Why does every meeting at work have to feel like such a drain on my very life force? Oh yeah, that's right, meetings are an opportunity for someone in a higher position to pass on information that they feel is vital to you, that you could most likely care-less about. Seriously, do we need to have a meeting to discuss why talk time isn't up? I mean, doesn't that defeat the purpose?

2) So last night's meeting (which was totally unrelated to this morning's meeting) covered the new sales contest we have going on. Except none of the components actually dealt with actually selling anything. All the goals to hit were based on dials, contracts sent and percentage of logged activities. Barf. All stuff to help explain numbers to investors. If I can accomplish in 30 dials what it takes the next schmuck 70 dials to do, why should I slam 40 more dials just to meet the schmuck criteria? Anyway, the contest was themed, drawing similarities to climbing Mt. Everest. I'd explain more but my genitals have already started shriveling explaining this much. Needless to say, they gave us all caribeeners with the company logo on it (gay) and had us all chant "Conquer The Climb" three times while having said caribeeners clipped onto a line that ran through the room (ultra-gay.) If you're reading this and thinking, "how cool," do us all a favor and jump off a bridge or rack your nads real hard on a fence.

3) Do you guys know anyone in real estate? I need to find a loft space in the city (preferably downtown or near-downtown) in the $200-400K range. Need to coincide with some business stuff so, the sooner the better.

4) I happen to like the Resident Evil movies. Critics hate them, but critics are usually no-talent losers, otherwise they'd be making movies instead of complaining about them. Either way, there is a teaser trailer for the next Resident Evil movie. Shek id owwwd:


Skurny said... your boss' name Michael Scott?

That is the lamest theme ever.

You should ask them what happens when you're trapped by a sudden avalanche and have to choose either to starve to death or eat the idiot sitting in the cubicle next to you.

Either that or you should start decorating your cube like a mountain: Fake trees, fake rocks, snow, maybe a length of rope, ham it up real good, that way they know you're a keeper! Viva la corporate ladder!

AngryWhiteMan said...

Again with the names... This is getting to be as weird as LBB and Hockey or Jnicho and smoking meat.

Skurny said...

Paul Cezanne.