1. Play a trick on my co-workers. I was thinking about loosening the top of the coffee pot so when someone pours a cup, the lid comes off and they get scalded by the coffee. HA HA! Wouldn’t that be funny? I really think about this daily.
2. For shits sake!! Can a man not enjoy his poo? All I ask is that when you see a dude on the crapper, come back in a few minutes. There’s nothing worse than hearing shit spew out of another mans ass when all you want to do is relax and let one flow.
3. Valentines Day is for whores. I mean it. What do you have planned for tonight? I’m sure you’re taking your woman out to eat and showering her with gifts. In the end, all you’re hoping for is a piece of ass. And when you get this piece of ass, what does that make your girl? A fucking whore!! And to you single guys, go out and buy a girl a drink because she’s bound to come home with you because she needs love. They feel empty and alone because they have no one to share this stupid day with. Trust me when I say that they will open up to the first penis available. If a man is to only be laid once a year, Valentines Day is it.
4. So let me tell you how bad gAyIU sucks. There was basically a blizzard last night and all the companies in the building were let out by 3pm. Around 4:30 our Director calls a meeting and announces that we are able to leave so we can avoid the next 4 inches that were coming in the next two hours. Two catches - We had to use our personal time and they also took all of our leads we had gotten in the past few days and our appointments. People are on final written warnings that are trying to keep their jobs. So the ultimate question was: Are you willing to stay and work like a good employee while you risk your life on the drive home or lose your leads for the week which ultimately could lead to your termination? And they call this place a University.