Tuesday, July 24, 2007

An Odd Sense Of Respect -- by J.O.B.

Single goal fever...

I must begin by adapting a quote from the second greatest movie ever made (Part 2 was of course the best):

"I'm a superstitious man, and if some unlucky accident should befall the Blackhawks - if they were to have Patrick Kane go down to a career ender, or be found hung dead in last place by Christmas... or if they should endure a long scoreless streak - then I'm going to blame some of the people in this room; and then I do not forgive. But with said, I pledge - on the souls of my grandchildren - that I will not be the one to break the peace that we have made today."

I appreciate you coming to the only homegrown Chicagoan for the ultimate blessing, as my love for all Chicago sports teams is of the die-hard variety. I talk smack about hockey, but just as I danced (alone) in the streets after watching the Rush win the Arena Bowl last year, I would be the first to run out to purchase confetti if the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup.

Your choice of Chicago team to back is wise, despite the quality of the team you've chosen. Here is why:

A) You could never choose one of the baseball teams here. The worst mistake transplants make is deeming themselves either a Sox or Cubs fan. Unless you were born here, or grew up a fan in your origination city, you don't actually possess the right to make a definitive decision. And seeing as how the Cubs have had the benefit of national exposure that the Sox have not (WGN used to only carry Cubs games,) even being a fan in your origination city is unfair.

B) Considering the issues going on in the NBA, it would be unwise to put any stock into an NBA team right now. Besides, claiming that you always liked Jordan, thus making becoming an adopted Bulls fan a simple choice is a cop-out. You need to be able to know things like how many games the Bulls won the year after he left (13) and how many games Rusty Larue started in his Bulls career (7.) Plus, the Bulls are good again, so it'd just be wrong to jump on now.

C) Football ties just go too deep to even consider the Bears. Unless you're born in New York state, where 3 teams reside (kind of - Jets and Giants play in N.J.,) you pretty much cheer for your hometown football team, or the closest to you. In addition, once you jump on a football teams bandwagon, you almost never get off. Throw in the fact that the Bears played in the Super Bowl last year, again violating a bandwagon rule, and this is impossible.

D) No one watches soccer or arena football (except me) so you could throw all your weight behind the Fire or Rush and no one would care. Likewise for the Shamrox (LaCrosse.)

Finally, it is more than acceptable to adopt a team from an opposite conference or division in the same sport. This has been my reasoning for cheering for both the Cubs and Sox all these years. The Hawks and Habs are in separate conferences and play twice a year. As with most breakups, I wouldn't be surprised if you had a little twice a year affair and cheated on your new love with an old flame, just give the Hawks your complete love 80 other times a year (plus playoffs of course.) Remember this - it is nearly impossible to shift love a second time. This move to the Blackhawks must be the final one, or else all credibility as a true fan of the sport goes out the window. Choose carefully, young padwan ... and pray Wirtz sells this team to someone who cares.


Brown Buddy said...

Actually, what makes this really easy is that they don't even play twice a year...they play every other year. And they come to Chicago every 3 or 4 years. The NHL schedule is actually pretty unbalanced like that...which sucks because a guy like Sidney Crosby comes to town twice a decade (seemingly).

This was interesting to read...I honestly wasn't sure how this would go over. I feel dirty, actually...and if I had an overbearing father, he'd probably disown me. (Luckily he doesn't really care about sports...other than golf)

Skurny said...

golf? and you're sure he's not white?

Brown Buddy said...

he looks like Vijay Singh

J.ust O.ver B.roke said...

As long as he doesn't smell like him. Huh? Huh? Right?