B-A-C-K

Someone in my office just said "No Talent Assclowns" and that, of course, reminded me of you fools.

1. Back from Panama and Costa Rica on Sunday...what an f-ing trip. Highlights in no particular order:
-Turned 26, very possibly the most fun I've ever had on my birthday. The beach, a live band, dancing, stars, ocean, palm trees, hot central american women all over. etc, etc. Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica is alllll right with me.
-My traveling buddy from Michigan was robbed in Bocas Del Toro, Panama.
-I was bitten apparently by a spider and now I have a half dollar size bruise on my arm. I'm going to the doctor today.
-Went mountain biking and hiking on Volcan Baru, the highest point in Panama (it's a volcano).
-Got a tan. Yes, a tan. I couldn't believe it either.

2. Red Wings/Pistons Update: Despite the loss last night to the Stars, the Wings look to be headed to the best Stanley Cup Finals in years with a matchup against the Pens. BB's heart just skipped a beat.
Pistons are rolllling and hopefully this break will allow Chaunce to get healthy in time for the matchup against the 'Brons or the Celts. This series is going 7 because clearly, Boston is incapable of winning on the road.

3. Is there anything more annoying that when people have Bible quotes on their answering machine? I'm all for religion (well, sort of), but when it's on your work phone? Is that appropriate? Really? Thank you, I will have a blessed day, you jerk.

4. Tigers: Still suck, but not quite as bad as before.

5. Bonus Goal: I ran into Mrs. Jnicho on State the other night. Actually, it was less of a "run into" and more like a "secret date at Flemings, in which we shared all our innermost secrets and planned to run away together to the South of France". I mean, what?

Drunk

Best Jersey Ever. That's for you, AWM.

via Deadspin

I'm back, bitches (thought it appears most of you are gone)

I haven't posted anything in awhile...mostly because I'm quite certain no one reads this anymore. But I need an outlet to vent, because there's just so much to talk about right now, so here goes...an incoherent, rambling rant, brought to you in our traditional four goal style (even though none of the following four points would be considered a "goal" by any rational human being).

1) NBA playoffs start next week. I wish I could be excited about the prospects of my beloved Cavaliers, but the fact of the matter is, they just don't have it this year. The new acquisitions haven't gelled yet, and they look painfully slow against running teams (like Philly). However this is no cause for concern for this guy...since the quality of play is better than its been in years. Every night there is a compelling matchup, and every team has at least one guy who could start on a championship team (with the possible exception of Memphis, or New York). I'm loving the NBA right now

2) Hope everyone noticed my beloved Montreal Canadiens grab the top seed in the East today! I like their chances in the loaded East, since they drew the Bruins in the first round (who they were 8-0 against this year). But I want no part of Alex Ovechkin and the streaking Caps, nor the ridiculously loaded Penguins. Even freaking Ottawa is a 6 seed, and they've been crapping on the Habs faces for 3 years now. It'll be a tough road, but I think, more than anything else, a traditional hockey town needs to win the cup this year. Whether its Pittsburgh, Montreal, Detroit, San Jose (you heard me), Philly or New York, SOMEONE must win from a traditional hockey market. I don't know if the league can take another sun belt team with a fickle fan base winning the cup (like Anaheim last year, Carolina the year before, or Tampa Bay the time before that...though to be fair, Carolina fans are underrated, and Raleigh is a wonderful market for the NHL).

3) Baseball, baby! Hope everyone caught the strange incident in the Braves/Pirates game last Wednesday. After bringing in righty Chris Resop to pitch to one of the Pirates tough righties (Jason Bay, I think), Bobby Cox then replaced Resop with lefty Royce Ring to face Adam LaRoche...except he put Resop in left field so he could bring him in again to face another righty in Xavier Nady. The move unfortunately backfired, as Nady doubled in the winning run, but I loved Cox's out of the box thinking. The old man is fully capable of getting creative, and is every bit as spry as he was in the early 90's. That being said, I think managers get pretty ridiculous with the lefty on lefty matchups, and this was a perfect example of that. What I really think is dumb is the idea that right handers hit worse against right handed pitching. They've been facing right handed pitchers their entire lives...I don't think they are shaking in their boots facing one now! Still the Braves are 3-3, and beat the Mets twice this weekend. I'm not as optimistic as some experts on their chances this year, but I really don't think the Mets and Phillies are that much better.

4) How 'bout some music? Some favorites of mine currently: Skurny's recent visit produced a bit more than the usual haze of smoke and Smithwicks, as he turned me onto Band of Horses, a band so good I've been wondering where they've been all my life. Also, the pride of Akron Ohio (other than LeBron James) has a new album out, The Black Keys actually hired Danger Mouse to produce their new album, "Attack and Release." I'm pretty sure Skurny will second my opinion on that one. Also, Death Cab for Cutie has a new album dropping next Monday. Though I'm certain I'll get crap for plugging that one, its important to mention that Death Cab isn't really "emo", at least in the current definition. I mean, they are mellow, and methodical. Completely different from crappy bands like Panic at the Disco or whatever the fuck they're called, who are considered "emo" by mainstream music pundits. So can we all agree to stop referring to Death Cab as emo? Thank you, that is all.

Baseball

Baseball is back. Preview coming soon.

That is all.

Quite Bored This Evening...

1) SO what did I do? Went back and read some old school goals group emails! I think my favorite parts are when Nicho calls AWM "Dummy" or anytime anyone says to AWM, "pipe down and let the grown ups talk". I still do that, actually. I did that last week, I think.

2) Skurny stopped by the office today on his way to the airport. He'll be in Europe for the next two weeks. He doesn't want the others to know he's in Amsterdam, so if anyone asks, he's, uh...in England.

3) I realized I'd gone an entire week without writing anything about K2's performance last Sunday against the Seahawks. One of those moments where you knew you were watching something special (or something gay like that). I was about to prepare a "10 reasons why the Browns will beat the Steelers" post, but I figured it might make J.O.B.'s head explode as he invoked his inner Skip Bayless...so I left it in the draft bin. Oh, and also they won't beat the Steelers on Sunday. Thats the other reason. (But in all fairness, who can beat them right now? New England...and thats probably it).

4) Thought I'd close it out today by giving some bold, unsubstantiated Hot Stove predictions.

-A-Rod will be back in pinstripes next season. But who's pinstripes?? The Yankees, actually. He just fits their lineup and budget. LA will trade for Joe Crede

-Miguel Cabrera stays put...for now. The Marlins have a shrewd GM, and he won't take anything less than what he got for Josh Beckett (Anibal Sanchez, Hanley Ramirez)

-The Cubs won't do much of anything. Anytime ownership changes hands, the payroll has to stay about the same. Sucks...but in that division, do they really need to blow things up?

-Tommy Glavine will finish out his career the way it started. Pitching poorly for the Atlanta Braves. (however, as a Braves fan...this scenario is far better than Jo-Jo Reyes getting 25 starts)

-After listening to the radio this morning, I get the impression Torii Hunter will sign with the White Sox. Makes a lot of sense fiscally. And Kenny Williams loves overrated 32 year olds (see: Pierzynski, AJ. Dye, Jermaine)

-I'm going out on a limb and saying Johan Santana stays in Minnesota this year, and possibly beyond. They are opening a new ballpark in '09, and they need a marquee name to anchor that rotation. Something tells me they open up the vault. Who better to open it for?

-Carlos Silva, meanwhile, will get 10 million a year from someone. And I'll probably light myself on fire.

Postseason quick update...

Rockies win 5-1! I seriously have a man-crush on this team. This week's "Did you know?":

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/stats/rpi?season=2007&sortColumn=exp_win_pct

The Rockies had the best run differential in the NL this year. 4th overall in the bigs. These guys did not "come out of nowhere" and they did not just "get hot at the right time." This is the best team in the NL, and it would a major, major upset if they lost this series (especially after beating Brandon Webb in game 1).

I'll be in Atlanta tomorrow night for ALCS Game 1. But I'm bringing the laptop with me (along with the internet that Skurny's company pays for), so expect more random thoughts and updates.

(And I'm in a wedding this weekend in Atlanta, I'm not delusional thinking the Braves made the postseason or something)

End of Another Era...

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3058578

I'll elaborate on this probably after the weekend. Needless to say, I'm stunned, and saddened.

Oktober Baseball, Baby...

1) This just in, the ratings for the first round are up 18%

And I'll stop right there, because people who use TV ratings to validate their opinions are completely insufferable. I only bring it up now because the first round games started an hour earlier this year, and the ratings went up. I hope their is a connection, because its important to build a young fan base...and the recent trend of baseball games ending at 1am isn't helping that at all.

2) My World Series pick: D-Bags vs. Indians, and D-Bags win in 6. God I hate to say it, but isn't there just something about that Diamondbacks team that reminds you a lot of the '03 Marlins team? Think about it...one stud ace pitcher (Brandon Webb, Josh Beckett in '03), one 20 year old on the brink of superstardom (Justin Upton, Miguel Cabrera in '03), an underrated 1B also on the brink of stardom (Conor Jackson, Derrek Lee in '03), great bullpen depth and not to mention, both teams' supposed best pitcher ended up getting hurt (Randy Johnson, and AJ Burnett in '03). Also, both of these teams are flying way under the radar. No one saw the Marlins coming (except me of course), and naturally, Vegas has the D-backs as the longest odds to win it all. Even after re-handicapping this week, the Backs are 4th out of 4.

3) Shut up. Just shut up about the NL/AL supposed disparity. You know who you all are. Yes, I'll concede that the level of play in the AL is better, but the difference is not as pronounced as you think. And there are reasons for this, the biggest reason being that there really are only 2 huge market teams in the NL- the Mets and Phillies. Those are the only two NL teams that can annually afford to go out and spend whatever they need (as well as the Giants to a much lesser extent). So with the higher amount of small markets in the NL, its no wonder you haven't heard of a lot of the NL players. But just because you haven't heard of these guys, that doesn't make them less talented. That just makes you a moron for not knowing who they are. So just shut up.

4) Did I mention the Yankees lost? But lets not get carried away here. Is it really a huge shock and a huge letdown when a 96 win division winner knocks off a wild card team in the first round, with two of the top five starting pitchers on their roster? Its not a shock to me. I really wished the Indians would've downplayed their on field celebration...because THAT would've sent a message to New York fans. Guess what, Curt Schilling was right- Aura and Mystique are names of hookers in Times Square.

God I Love October

A rowdy party on Saturday ushered in my favorite month of the year: October (or as Dane Cook calls it, Actober! Get it??). Here are four things I'm thinking right now regarding the greatest part about the greatest month of the year.

1) Watching this Padres/Rockies game is painful in a lot of ways right now. First off, its tied 6-6 in the bottom of the ninth...and though I could give a crap about either team, I'm still tied in knots. God I love postseason baseball. However, I truly hate announcers who suck, and the two dimwits doing this wildcard playoff game truly suck balls. The lead commentator sounds like he just woke up, and Craig Sager and his technicolor dream coat have the sideline duties. On the bright side, the Rockies fans are adorable. One sign read "bring on the Cubs". Ummm...dipshits...lets not tempt fate by looking past your opponents. Oh, and you play the Phillies if you win this game, not the Cubs. And if you were referring to the NLCS, the Cub fans thank you for jinxing them as well...as if that franchise doesn't have enough superstition to overcome.

2) Speaking of the Cubs, here's what I think about the D-Backs/Cubs series. First of all, the archaic, nonsensical rule that the wild card team can't play the division winner is moronic. Makes NO sense. SO now the Diamondbacks, the only NL team to win even 90 games (boy that sounds strange, doesn't it?), have to play a division winner in the first round, as opposed to the winner of the Pads/Rockies game. So the Phillies, who are red hot by the way, get to play either the Rockies or Padres, both of whom have burned their best pitcher before even taking the field in game one. How is this fair? This needs to change. And Cub fans should be complaining about this, why...when they won their division outright...should they face the best team in the league (record wise, at least)? Besides that, the Dbacks scare the shit out of me. Young team, nothing to lose, gunslinger mentality...and not to mention Brandon Webb twice in a 5 game series. The Cubs match up well against any NL team, but this was their worst possible draw. These Diamondbacks remind me too much of the '03 Marlins. Sorry to go all Joe Buck on you all, but thats my two cents.

3) Matt Holliday needed to go 0-5 in order for Chipper to win his first batting title (and subsequently clinch a spot in the hall of fame). It didn't happen. Thank you Matt Holliday, for shitting on the only silver lining of the 2007 Atlanta Braves. Dick

4) If you're not rooting for the Indians in the AL, you simply have no soul. Either that, or you're the type of person who roots for A. The Taliban, B. the House in Blackjack, C. the Soviets during the Cold War, or D. Ivan Drago, or E. all of the above. Why do I think AWM is this person?

Yo Yo Yo!! Bitches!!!1

Got some big news coming up soon but I can't tell you what. No, I didn't get any chick pregnant. That can't happen when you bone dudes.

All Baseball, All The Time -- by J.O.B.

1) Big time congrats to Barry Bonds on number 756 (and 757 tonight,) and as you know I mean it sincerely. As one of the 6 Barry Bonds fans without a California driver's license, I'm happy he broke the record and think it sucks he's getting the level of personal heat he's endured. Look, if you're not going to test for something you list as illegal (as baseball did for a number of years,) how serious are you about it? If we're going to claim the record is tainted because he used supplements (legal or not) that Aaron did not, then we have to say any record set by any athlete that uses any supplement is tainted simply because it wasn't available back in the day. You used creatine? Any record you set is tainted. You use a fat burner? Tainted. L-Arginine supplements? Tainted. Aaron didn't use them, right? It's ridiculous.

If you want to say he cheated, show me the drug test. That's all - don't give me some other guys book, don't give me some other guys testimony on a stand about what he claims you did, or some scorned chick who's mad because she didn't get paid - show me the piss test that the player took that year. Oh wait, they can't because whether they listed substances as legal or not in their rulebook, they never tested for them. Not once. Even the WWE can produce test results for supplements they've supposedly banned. Think about this: Sportscenter just claimed that the next big number in sports is Tiger chasing down Nicklaus 19 Majors wins. I gaurantee Tiger has used supplements and workouts that were not available to Nicklaus. If Tiger catches him, will that be tainted? Eff off, I hope Bonds hits 800.

2) BB, I couldn't disagree with you more on the Cubs and they're working very hard to prove me right. They've averaged 2 runs per during the 4 game losing streak and Houston is not a team they can really afford to lose 3 games to. What's the role of a leadoff hitter? To see pitches, and put themselves in a position to score runs. Soriano miscast? You're reading too much hype and (surprisingly) not looking at what this guy has produced from the leadoff position. He second highest hits for leadoff guys in the NL, more doubles than any other leadoff hitter, third in triples, second in homers, average and OPS, and fourth in OBP. The only fault I see is his strikeout to walk ratio, which sucks. He's even third in runs scored. Could he drive in more runs in the fifth or sixth spot? Not if he's uncomfortable there. They've won 9 of the 12 games he's homered in and all that tells me is that he provies a spark at the top of the lineup. He sets the offensive tone and without him, they're screwed.

3) In regards to Glavine winning his 300th: what the hell happened to the complete gamer? I really don't understand it. As recently as the mid-80's, pitchers threw on 3 day's rest and threw a number of complete games, with pitchers often ending in the 20+ range. Today, starters go 5 and 6 innings, get credit for a "quality start" and get an extra day of rest. They aren't nearly as durable and odds are, unless Mussina steps it up, Glavine is it for the 300 game winners. What is the deal?

4) If he doesn't get injured, is there any reason to believe that the home run record doesn't end up belonging to A-Rod?

bonus goal: Alright fine, you want to know what probably helped Bonds out as much as anything else? Look here.

1) Salty hits a 2 run single against the Indians. The Braves? Lets just say NEVER underestimate what one patient bat can do to a lineup. They sent 11 men to the plate in the first inning, and ended up scoring 12 total. And ohbytheway, Big Tex hit a 3 run dong, totaled 4 RBI's. I'm going to love this lineup...probably...no, not probably, EASILY the best lineup, top to bottom, that they've EVER had (and this includes the 2003 team, which scored over 900 runs, which hasn't been matched by an NL team since). Sorry kids, this aint your older brother's Braves...

2) This story will probably be bypassed by mainstream media, but it shouldn't. It might be a long time before you read about a bunch of rich old white dudes doing what is right, rather than doing what is profitable. They kept that team in Nashville (where the market completely sucks), out of loyalty, rather than sell to the rich Canadian, who had every intention on moving the team to Winnipeg (or Hamilton). I admit, I was actually rooting for them to move...but I have to admire that kind of loyalty. I strongly recommend you all read that article.

3) Have I discussed the Simpsons Movie yet?? I saw it Sunday afternoon- best movie I've seen this year. What did I like most? There were moments in that movie that I almost felt like crying...I identify with those characters that much. What did I like least? Mr. Burns is almost non-existent! How does that happen!?!

4) The numbers came out today. Of all the new people that started at my company since March, I'm #1 in billing...and its not even close. I don't even work that hard...I can't really explain it...well, maybe I can. AIU, for all its faults, teaches a salesperson how to deal with several types of personalities. A successful recruiter needs that kind of experience.

I never thought I'd ever give that place any credit...I'm going to go take a cold shower now

Don't think Braves fans are taking this hard?

Guess again...

We'll miss ya, big guy

Teizeira to los Bravos??

BB's head is Exploding right now because Salty is involved, I'm sure.

A Trip Down Statistical Lane - By Stat Nerd

1) I like Mike Fontenot as much as the next guy, but he won't keep this up. And here is your statistical evidence. Fontenot has a batting average of balls-in-play (BABiP) of .374 (which is absolutely ridiculous). The league average is around .260-.275, so expect some serious regression in the second half, as a lot of his balls will cease finding holes. Thats what she said.

2) Want to know who is actually leading the league in BABiP? That'd be none other than Derrek Lee, who is at .405. Expect some regression there too (as much as I hate to say it, Stat Nerd has always been a DLee fan...who's been underrated for so many years before he finally got to play in a hitters park)

3) Who's been the best pitcher in the NL this year? Chris Young...and it isn't even close. Not even remotely close. But what I found surprising is that Ted Lilly has been the Cubs best pitcher. And dammit I wish I could go back and find that old goals email where I definitely predicted that in the winter (right after they signed him). Who did the Yankees get for trading Lilly back in the day? Jeff Weaver?? Ouch.

4) Anyone looking for an NL MVP prediction? How about Florida's Hanley Ramirez? I've felt all year that this guy is not only better than Jose Reyes (who gets more pub), but he's probably the best shortstop in the game. He's currently top 5 in the league in runs created per game, while playing a premium defensive position (and playing it quite well, I might add).

Back at it Goals

1. Here's a snapshot of what my week looks like:
Monday: Dallas
Tuesday: Fly from DFW to Hotlanta (Braves are out west)
Wednesday: Fly ATL to Pittsburgh (Probably go to Pirates/Brewers in the afternoon)
Thursday: Fly from Pitt to Chicago
Ugh.

2. J.O.B....looks like I'll be at the bar Thursday night...JNichoPeteCoorsNeoConDBag: Doesn't look like I'm going to your Weekly Moonshiner Convention since I have some dinner plans...Let me know where the bar is and we'll figure it out...

3. Friday I'm going to Taste, first time back in about 6 years...Looking forward to it on one hand (Black Crowes) and not on the other (Large Crowds, stupid people, tourists)...either way, if anyone's down there, let me know.

4. I was going to go over some NHL Signings over the weekend, but I don't want to step on BB's toes...All I know is that Buffalo lost half their team.

5. Bonds is an all-star. Shit.

Ugh...

1) Head scratcher of a trade between my Braves and Skurn's Tigs. Former 1st rounder Macay McBride for Wil Ledezma. I get that the Braves lost ridiculously sick Mike Gonzalez for the year...but isn't McBride a halfway decent replacement? Just as good as Ledezma...who is out of minor league options, and just as, if not more wild than McBride. Whatever...I'm not going to quibble about left-handed set-up men.

2) In a related story, Buddy Carlyle is making his 3rd start for Atlanta tonight. Could we not get a 5th starter for McBride?!?!?!

3) 1st pitch of the game was hit for a homerun by former Brave JD Drew

4) If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cut myself and listen to emo.

NO-NO

Justin Verlander: NO HITS the Brew Crew

102 MPH in the 9th, ridiculous

CG, 0 hits, 4 BB, 12 K's

GO TIGERS

Just Got Hit By a Truck

1) Had my first roller hockey game tonight. A free agent team of castoffs and has beens played decent enough, but still lost 8-6. I had 2 goals and 2 assists, in my first competitive hockey game in 3 years. We dominated the first half, but played sluggish the second. I asked our team, "what the hell did you all do all winter? Eat Krispy Kremes and smoke cigarettes?" We were dragging ass... Luckily, we're guaranteed a playoff spot no matter what. Boy am I going to feel it tomorrow though...I'm already in a shitload of pain.

2) Finally saw The Prestige last night. Liked it...but the ending wasn't as much of a twist as you guys made it out to be (or at least from what I remember you guys making it out to be). I saw it coming. But entertaining nonetheless. Chris Nolan is a great storyteller. And ScarJo...gah...

3) Terence Moore of the AJC has a great idea about who should replace Andruw next year in center. I can't believe I didn't think of it first...it makes way too much sense.

4) J.O.B- nicely done on the comment on Skurny's post. You did your homework for sure. You said, "Sadly enough, Pedro had the injury blip in 2001, where he was still 7-3 in 18 starts. Bracketed around that year is 17-8, 19-7, 23-4, 18-6, 20-4, and 14-4". Good point. But that injury "blip" you speak of is precisely what keeps him out of the discussion of being the greatest pitcher of our generation, in my opinion. Clemens and Maddux never got hurt, and never missed starts. That's actually become such a valued part of a pitcher's repetoire, that a guy who can make 35 starts (even if they aren't necessarily an effective 35 starts) can get 21 million in the offseason (Jason Marquis anyone?). I do agree that if Clemens and Maddux are 1a and 1b for greatest pitchers of the last 20 years, then Pedro is 1c, and Randy Johnson, Tom Glavine, John Smoltz, Curt Schilling, Mike Mussina, Kevin Brown and (surprise!) David Cone round out the top 10. (I'm sure Skurny will have something to say about that one...Frank Tanana anyone?? Jack Morris? Bill Gullickson??)

In all fairness, I don't think I was selling Pedro short when I said he had the best 2 year stretch ever. Think about the competition on that one. Koufax, Maddux, Lefty Grove, he bested all of them. In fact, his '00 season may be the single greatest season of any player, pitcher or otherwise, of all time (and for those of you scoring at home, that would be Ivan Rodriguez that took home the MVP that year....freakin' joke).

Larry

1) Mike Brown is in over his head. Look, he seems to be a nice enough guy...good face of the organization, 100 wins in two years, and a trip to the finals this year. But as an NBA coach, you have to choose winning over loyalty...you HAVE to. His decision to keep Boobie Gibson on the bench in favor of gimpy Larry Hughes in indefensible (even though you gotta hand it to Larry playing in as much pain as he's in).

2) Its become increasingly clear that this guy doesn't give a shit anymore. Chipper can't come back fast enough. Meanwhile I'm watching as the Braves steal one at home to earn a badly needed split from the all-of-a-sudden not-so-hapless Cubs (by the way, mark my words: the Cubs are going to run away with that division- its almost mathematically impossible for them to continue playing so badly in 1-run games), Jarrod Saltalamacchia (3-4, 2 RBI) is going to be a tremendous player for a long, long time.

3) Anyone remember the buzz surrounding Fox's "new comedy" The Loop? Set in, and partially filmed in Chicago, its already been axed, and Fox is burning off the last 8 episodes. After catching two of 'em tonight...I have to say, it was a good decision. Bleh...


4) http://www.eonline.com/thevine/player.jsp?mediaID=20294
Hometown girl from Erie PA trying to make it in LA as a standup. She's pretty funny, this clip, while not exactly gut busting hilarious, gives you an idea of what her act is like. She's a pretty cool chick...the more clicks, the better.