More Than Meets The Eye -- By J.O.B.

1) I got up this morning ready to invite AWM to politely get his teeth knocked in if he didn't like Transformers. Thank goodness he posted before I did. While no one will claim this is the best movie ever made, for me (that means in my personal rankings) it is my favorite movie of all time. Are there movies with better dialog? Yes. Better premises for a story? Yes. Better acting? Probably (although the skill it takes to act with robots that aren't actually there is pretty high.) But I will go on record as saying there is no better action movie ever made to date, period end of story. The writing was surprisingly entertaining and Bay once again uses every dollar to put action on-screen. I was so happy I'm going into work late just because I'm sitting here writing this.

2) If you drive to see this movie, be wary when you leave. The driving scenes in this movie lead to me being quite the daredevil on the drive home.

3) I've officially decided that my left shoulder must be tatted up with more Transformer symbolism. Until last night, I always quietly wondered if I would ever feel silly for having the Autobot tattoo on my right arm. Now, I don't understand why I don't have more Transformer references.

4) While Megan Fox is uber-hot and we can debate her sanity in real life all day (thanks to her awkward choice of tattoo and tattoo placement,) Rachael Taylor is equally fetching. I think I actually caught myself drooling in a chopper scene that had both of them. I know my head nearly exploded. All hail hot chicks.

If you don't go see this movie this week, you betray your youth and should be cast into the fiery pits of hell.

Jumpstart On Monday -- by J.O.B.

1) As far as I know, I'm going to Transformers for the first Chicago showing and you're not. Brings up a good two-part question for my fellow goalsters. 1) What was the last movie you saw on opening night? and 2) What toy, show, cartoon, etc. from your youth not movie-ized yet would you absolutely not miss on opening night if they made it into a movie? As the only person who probably qualifies as the resident first show movie addict, your response to this will be better than mine since I'll see almost anything I peg as possibly good on opening night.

2) Ladies and gentlemen: the car that will be littering the garages of spoiled college and high school girls as well as a large majority of Boys Town in 12 months -- the BMW 1-series. Don't get me wrong, it's cute as all get-out and 300hp for the 135 is "da boobiez" but it's just screaming to show up on an episode of "My Super-Duper In My Pooper Sweet 16" next year.

3) J.O.B. Summer Slim Down update: Currently down about 25lbs, but since you lame-o's are too weak to join me at any invited events, you'll probably never know. How eerie is this: I've seen Olivia more recently than I've seen Brown Buttsex and Jnegro, and they're local and actually leave their homes for more than work. The Skurn gets a pass because I've seen him 2 of the last 3 pitstops in Chicago, and this Thurz will probably make 3 for 4. Way to be Mike Fontenot, Skurny.

4) Milwaukee Summerfest > Taste Of Chicago. Honestly, I haven't been to the Taste in about 4 years, but I was at Summerfest on Saturday and let me say I think this might be the best thing about all of Wisconsin. Yeah, the same Chicago eateries weren't there, but instead you got reputable fast food places (as oxymoronic as that is it makes sense,) littered with no-name food stands. The music was top notch with acts like Goo Goo Dolls and Daughtry performing and scheduled to play. We went for Colbie Caillat who definitely didn't disappoint and I actually managed to mingle with Milwaukee citizens without beating any of them have to death and crushing any more knuckles. Paths were clear, children were under control and the place was actually well coordinated. Of course, the crowd didn't match Taste insanity, but ... is that a bad thing? Big thumbs up to Milwaukee, this may be the only thing you do right.

Conspiracy!!! -- by J.O.B.

1) I give it 2 months before the Benoit story starts becoming the stuff of conspiracy lore. I guarantee you that because of the Wikipedia thing, someone is going to jump on the idea that the Benoit's faked their deaths to escape the country or enter some type of protection program because it will come out (at least to "someone" in the conspiracy community) that Chris was involved as some type of super-soldier or something. You just watch.

2) I'm waiting for someone to sell me on Joakim Noah. I will send out a multitude of apologies to anyone I can find, if it doesn't turn out this way, but I just see BUST in big letters on this guy's forehead. I think it's why he wears his hair long. I don't think he was the best player available, and if the idea was to go big to fill need, a guy who isn't a scorer doesn't fill that need. Sometimes you have to draft a bargaining chip or draft a guy that makes a roster guy a bargaining chip. I project Nick Young, Al Thornton, Julian Wright and Acie Law IV to all have better careers than Noah, which sucks because I love the Bulls. They don't have a place for any one of those players but Atlanta, New Orleans, Washington and the Clips (the teams these four went to) all have pieces the Bulls could use. Instead, we're in the same place we were before the draft - looking for a low post scorer. I do like the Aaron Gray pick at 49, and Curry will be a nice backup for Hinrich and Gordon.

3) While I'm yapping about the NBA, contrary to Skurny who saw it as a yawn-fest, I saw something completely different. Outside of the BC kid the Nets took, find me a kid in this draft that isn't a high character guy. The league is slowly flushing out the thug persona. The JailBlazers are back to being the TrailBlazers after moving Randolph East. I really think NY is his last shot, which is wild because where else can he get into more trouble? The Blazers now have Jack, Roy, Oden, Channing Frye etc., etc. Nice, nice kids. The best thing about the mandatory year of college isn't the fact that it will prep the budding high school phenom for his pro career, but that it will weed out a higher percentage of morons.

4) Y'all missed a great one last night. English was the wild monkey butt secks. The place was poppin' till lights on at 1:30 and it was everything it should be. No pretentious snobbery. Everyone having a good time and in talking to the owners they said they are striving to eschew (definition linked for you AWM) the "velvet rope" mentality. There were people there in suits and ties, and there were people there in t-shirts and flip-flops. I had some other friends show up and between four of us the total damage was $11, and we were all very hammered. This will be the regular watering hole.

Bonus No-Chase: Skurn, you must hit English with me while you're in town...maybe Thursday after hitting up the Moonshiners Club with J "August Busch" Nicho, y'all can head on over. Drinks for nearly nothing and chicks for free...

Eff Chris Benoit -- by J.O.B.

1) Word is Benoit strangled his wife, smothered his son and then hung himself. I just don't get it. I look at my wife and daughter and couldn't fathom an issue horrendous enough for me to consider anything of that magnitude. There has to be some type of mental breakdown at play here.

2) www.comingsoon.net has a number of clips for the Transformers movie opening next Monday. If anyone besides jnicho (who is insane) wants to go, shoot me a call or text tomorrow and I'll grab $7 tickets for the 8 pm show Monday in the city.

3) Jnicho? Brown Buddy? Thursday at English? AWM may be to frightened to drive to the city, but you guys are local. Guaranteed good time ...

4) BB, you're Canadian right? Check out this hilarious "Powerthirst" commercial from With Leather.

Eff Mondays -- by J.O.B.

1) My comments on AWM's "WWE" post say it all - someone made the Crippler tap out ... : (

2) Couldn't have had a more productive Saturday night. It looks like Fifty-Fifty Records talent will be playing Wise Fools Pub, Grand Central, and a few other places as soon as dates and other basic issues can be worked out. The guys at Wise Fools are great as is the crew that owns the conglomerate that includes Grand Central. I'll keep you posted.

3) More from the shameless plug files: What are the Chicago-based GoalsGroupers doing Thursday night? My business partner is currently head bartending down at a place called English that is having it's grand opening Thursday night. It's a three floor gastropub with pool tables and pretty inexpensive drinks for a downtown establishment ($4-$8.) If you want to come out on Thursday, I'm sure you will be taken care of on some beverages. Let me know if you want to go - I'll be promoting this all week ... 444 N. LaSalle.

4) The NBA draft is this Thursday. We all know it's Oden and Durant at 1 and 2. Do the Bulls somehow swing the 3-way trade to get Kobe? Does Garnett get moved? Everyone has a chance again starting Friday morning.

Bonus goal: If you watched the Cubs game tonight - this is the kind of stuff miracle runs are made of. These are games you look back on as key turning points. I'd still flog Bob Howry (I don't care if he puts religious verses (the June 25th "ticker" towards the bottom) on his hat or not. I think the Cubs will Milwaukee shortly after the All-Star Break.

Cuz' I Was Too Lazy To Post For 2 Days -- by J.O.B.

1) Spurs - 4 titles; 9 years; 0 excitement; 0 shot of beating any Finals team from the 90's or 80's. I'm sorry, but in today's NBA where you can't even touch someone without the whistle blowing, zone defense and piss poor jump shooting, I don't think the Spurs could have beat the 90's versions of the Jazz, Sonics, Magic, Knicks, Suns, Blazers, or Lakers, nor would they beat the 80's versions of the Pistons, Lakers, Celtics, or 76ers. To my immediate memory, those are all Finals losing teams and the Spurs may have only been able to take that Magic team to 7. It's one of the first repeat finals winners I would expect to play worse against previous generations.

2) Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - Like the reviews say, if you didn't like the first Fantastic Four, don't see this one. I happened to think the level of "camp" was pitch perfect in the first one, as the comic tended to skew a little more lighthearted, and the second was a vast improvement. Special effects are incredible and the Surfer was especially well done and very human. The ending definitely proved why the his character got equal billing. Oh, and the known spoiler that Glactus is a giant cloud? Pulled off a million times better than expected. FF3 will happen.

3) Michael Barrett - Even though the Cubs won yesterday with him behind the plate, I'd love to see what they can get for him on the open market. I love his offense, but with a pitching staff sporting a 5+ ERA with him behind the plate and somewhere around 2 with him on the bench, the problem seems a little obvious. Forget the lovefest the pitching staff is trying to have with him, off the two catchers in this city, amazingly Barrett has worn out his welcome first.

4) Self-promotion - after a couple of months of blabbing about it, Fifty-Fifty Records is now about to jump off. I'll be in Grand Rapids on Monday as four of our artists play a special invite only club opening, and when I get back, it's full force into putting those acts and more into Chicago's music venues. We made a huge major name signing that I'm unable to share at the moment, but it's instant legitimacy and credibility to what we're doing. In the meantime - check out places like www.jamindunn.com, www.myspace.com/jamindunn, www.myspace.com/charlesdye, www.myspace.com/brandonbriggs, www.myspace.com/brokensunday, and www.myspace.com/theavianconspiracy for more.

Monday Fools! -- By J.O.B.

1) Oh Mike Brown ... how do you take your only hope out of the game with your team down 8 to a juggernaut in the first quarter? I don't care if he has 2 fouls - let him pick up his third and I still wouldn't sit him. Has he looked at the rest of the team he has? By the way, can we stop calling Daniel Gibson "Boobie?" This dude was "Daniel" all year long and then all of a sudden he goes 5-5 in game 6 against Detroit and they start calling him "Boobie." Sorry, not buying it.

2) Got to see Buehrle pick up win #100 yesterday live and in person. Wow. U.S. Cellular Comiskey Block 35 Park Field is quiet as a churchmouse these days. I mean, in 2003 they only drew 15,000 but they were a loud 15,000. You can tell that Sox fans are like, WTF?

3) Speaking of baseball, statboy (BB): Any guesses as to why have the league's hitters seem like they can't hit their weight anymore? When was the last season where so many players who were decent to good last year were hitting 50 points or so below their previous years average? From your boy A. Jones in Atlanta to half the Sox line-up and so on.

4) AWM, the cost of credit repair varies. Many times you can dispute your credit successfully for free. If you search around the web a bit, you'll find the right letters that will give you results. It takes determination, but it's better than paying money. Or, go to that site I mentioned and register for the forums. They answer a lot of questions like that there.

Survived Kentucky -- by J.O.B.

1) Made it through a full weekend in Kentucky. Saw a wedding by a creek, went to the Liquor Barn and almost died on roads that literally do nothing but turn.

2) Saw "Knocked Up" earlier tonight and I must say it is one of the most complete comedies I've ever seen. Apatow was totally on his game on this one. Usually for comedies to work, the viewer has to usually submit themselves to living with complete implausibilities so "the joke" works. In Wedding Crashers it was buying into Vaughn and Wilson being able to pull off faking their pedigree. In Billy Madison it was buying into Sandler's character even being allowed on the professional tour. Well, the only thing close to an implausible premise in this movie is that Seth Rogan could actually tag Katherine Heigl, but even the set-up of her having a low enough self-esteem to give it up to Rogan is done properly. Mrs. J.O.B. tends to courtesy laugh at a lot of humor in comedies involving the "Frat Pack" and extended "Frat Pack" members, but tonight she was laughing loud enough out loud that she would have garnered stares, if it wasn't for everyone else laughing so hard. You know it's good when wifey says, "we're buying this when it comes out on DVD."

What's to spoil? Rogan's character meets Heigl's at a bar, they have a one-night stand and she gets pregnant. She's definitely a 10 with a career and he's a fading-4 at best, who smokes weed with friends even more immature than him. Obviously if she didn't keep the baby, there'd be no movie, so you know where this is going. Can she lower herself, or can he raise himself to a level where they can get along? The jokes that run throughout the movie are hilarious and the performances from the supporting cast are great. Harold Ramis makes a great cameo, as does Joanna Kerns (definitely Cougar/Milfy hot, still.) The fat kid from Accepted is going to have a great career playing that guy (he's actually in another movie this summer playing that guy,) and Paul Rudd flat out kills. This movie isn't going to get listed with the blockbusters, but you're an idiot if you skip it.

3) We are less than a month away from Transformers. If it goes IMAX my head will probably explode. In the meantime, I've got a new Fantastic Four, Die Harder Than Ever, Oceans 13, 1408, and Evan Almighty. Alright, I'll probably skip Evan Almighty, but I still haven't seen 28 Weeks Later either. The only office perk I care about: we get to buy discount movie tickets.

4) Tip of the day: Does your credit suck, or is it maybe just a little lower than you'd like it to be? Obviously you want to try and clear up negative crap, but one thing that most people don't know about is that if someone puts your name on their account in good standing, it shows on your credit and your score goes up. It's called piggybacking and it's perfectly legal. The person with the good credit can simply elect not to issue you a card in your name and therefore you just get the benefit of the good account reporting. Many companies do this but the best company I've found for this is Instant Credit Builders (you can look them up by combining their title into one word and adding dot com.) Their success has been reported on Yahoo news and they have a wonderful track record. Increases of anywhere from 20-200+ points is possible depending on how many trade lines you buy into. For what you're able to do after accomplishing this, the cost is actually pretty reasonable too, and they offer payment plans in some situations. Use them, don't use them, I don't care, but I've just started the process with them and they've been great.