Bulls To Zombies: It's Full Circle -- by J.O.B.

1) The Bulls are trying to be the poster children for the term Catch-22. It's one thing to play poorly enough that John Paxson decides to make the move for Kobe, but it's another to play so horribly that the Lakers no longer want any of your, cough, cough, talent, and Kobe doesn't want to play with whatever might be left. Is the problem the lack of an inside scorer? I contest that it's the lack of someone to take over when the shot clock is under 10. That's where the money is made in the league. Ben Gordon should be that guy but he's too undersized and he combines that with poor dribbling ability, poorer decision making and somehow even poorer defense.

2) Aubrey Huff became my favorite player in baseball this week. Was it because I read some special unearthed baseball equation in a baseball guide? No. Was it because he donated to my favorite charity? No. Was it because Skip Bayless said I should like him? Hell. Effing. No. Huff became a favorite of mine simply because of a radio appearance. But not just any appearance. Aubrey happens to be old friends with a guy who works on Bubba The Love Sponge's radio show on Sirius, and he was there this past Thursday in complete regular guy mode. Downing Red Bull-vodka's in-studio, discussing his method for how he used to pick up women, and sticking around for a segment with some internet porn star that somehow got wild enough that even Huff removed his shirt (although no one really knows why.) Who are the two players that Huff has promised to return to studio with? Casey Kotchman of the Angles and (of course) Boof Bonser of the Twins.

3) Have I ever mentioned how I hate Ohio St.? I'm sorry BB, I know you're a former Ohioan, and it seems like I'm anti-all things that are Buckeye State based, but that's pretty much how it is. I root for Michigan football due to a Harbaugh inspired love that began in the 80's, and I root for Illinois in everything (including games against UofM, btw) due to being born here and my Mom's alumni status (she graduated, not just attended.) I couldn't be more pleased about the Illini going into Ohio and possibly snatching a National Title out of the Buckeyes hands. Well, I guess I could have been more pleased if they would ditch the Nikeworld uni's for something more traditional, but I'll take the victory regardless. The only thing that could top this is Michigan putting it on OSU next weekend.

4) In a non-sports related goal, I've put together a list of all the movies being released between now and February that I'd like to see. Why only February? I haven't had time to get further into the future, but I will. Some of the highlights? Hanks and Julia Roberts in Charlie Wilson's War (Christmas) looks like a winner and the next day Daniel Day-Lewis will probably give another Bill-The-Butcher-like performance in There Will Be Blood. J.J. Abrams odd monster/sci-fi/horror pic, Cloverfield comes out on the 18th of January, and I Am Legend appears to follow the formula of Castaway with the idea of saving money by dropping $20 mil on a star and then letting them pretty much be the only person on camera the whole time. I know, some crazy zombies or whatever will attack Will, but zombies aren't people, at least anymore.

Honka Espoo

1) Its no secret that I love finnish names. Saku Koivu, Teemu Sellanne, Sami Kapanen just to name a few. Now the NBA has its first finn, in Petteri Koponen, and I couldn't be happier. The only thing better than his name? His former team in Finland- the Honka Espoo Playboys. Or as I like to refer to them, My New Favorite Pro Sports Franchise. I will be following the Playboys for the rest of the year, and give you all constant updates. (I figure it will earn more attention and respect than you all currently give the NHL).

2) Its just a rumor at this point, but it appears that Andy Varejao could be signing an offer sheet from the Memphis Grizzlies this week. It will take 7 mil a year to keep him in Cleveland. I probably speak for the minority of Cavs fans here...but I have a hard time giving a nonstarter 7 million. But hey, this is the same franchise that once gave Robert Traylor 9 million, so I guess anything is possible.

3) Right...this makes sense...because I'm sure he could do much better than her...Are you F'ing kidding me!?

4) The closest Kwik E Mart in Chicago will be way on the south side, 67th street, I believe. Does anyone else get the impression that 7-11 doesn't really get the joke here? Or are they just being extremely ironic by embodying the very stereotype that a satirical sitcom like The Simpsons portrays them to be? I'm not giving corporate America credit for that...I'm sure someone just hung a check in front of them

Conspiracy!!! -- by J.O.B.

1) I give it 2 months before the Benoit story starts becoming the stuff of conspiracy lore. I guarantee you that because of the Wikipedia thing, someone is going to jump on the idea that the Benoit's faked their deaths to escape the country or enter some type of protection program because it will come out (at least to "someone" in the conspiracy community) that Chris was involved as some type of super-soldier or something. You just watch.

2) I'm waiting for someone to sell me on Joakim Noah. I will send out a multitude of apologies to anyone I can find, if it doesn't turn out this way, but I just see BUST in big letters on this guy's forehead. I think it's why he wears his hair long. I don't think he was the best player available, and if the idea was to go big to fill need, a guy who isn't a scorer doesn't fill that need. Sometimes you have to draft a bargaining chip or draft a guy that makes a roster guy a bargaining chip. I project Nick Young, Al Thornton, Julian Wright and Acie Law IV to all have better careers than Noah, which sucks because I love the Bulls. They don't have a place for any one of those players but Atlanta, New Orleans, Washington and the Clips (the teams these four went to) all have pieces the Bulls could use. Instead, we're in the same place we were before the draft - looking for a low post scorer. I do like the Aaron Gray pick at 49, and Curry will be a nice backup for Hinrich and Gordon.

3) While I'm yapping about the NBA, contrary to Skurny who saw it as a yawn-fest, I saw something completely different. Outside of the BC kid the Nets took, find me a kid in this draft that isn't a high character guy. The league is slowly flushing out the thug persona. The JailBlazers are back to being the TrailBlazers after moving Randolph East. I really think NY is his last shot, which is wild because where else can he get into more trouble? The Blazers now have Jack, Roy, Oden, Channing Frye etc., etc. Nice, nice kids. The best thing about the mandatory year of college isn't the fact that it will prep the budding high school phenom for his pro career, but that it will weed out a higher percentage of morons.

4) Y'all missed a great one last night. English was the wild monkey butt secks. The place was poppin' till lights on at 1:30 and it was everything it should be. No pretentious snobbery. Everyone having a good time and in talking to the owners they said they are striving to eschew (definition linked for you AWM) the "velvet rope" mentality. There were people there in suits and ties, and there were people there in t-shirts and flip-flops. I had some other friends show up and between four of us the total damage was $11, and we were all very hammered. This will be the regular watering hole.

Bonus No-Chase: Skurn, you must hit English with me while you're in town...maybe Thursday after hitting up the Moonshiners Club with J "August Busch" Nicho, y'all can head on over. Drinks for nearly nothing and chicks for free...