I Need Those Four Words -- by J.ust O.ver B.roke

"Pitchers and catchers report"
Ha! Considering the way my team finished last night, it seems that way though. Anyway:

1) My office is a ghost town today, as expected. I think about 40% of the office isn't here. Of the remaining 60%, 30% are hung over, 20% are just trying to deal, and 10% are on the roof ready to jump.

2) Saw a trailer for Pride yesterday. I love my people as much as anyone, but are we now going to get a movie about every sport that Black people have broken through on? Swimming? Really? I can only think of even two "White" movies about swimming - "Swimfan" and "Back To School" - and both of those mostly use swimming as a plot device and not a crux of the film. Have you seen the Olympics lately? I know a guy with no arms that could count the number of Black swimmers on his hands ... and he doesn't have hands so it's a pretty low number. Of course, Terrence Howard cries in the trailer, so the movie will probably make $80 or $90 million. At least it's not curling.

3) The commercial of the night for me was the rock/paper/scissors commercial. Dude got rocked, literally. Throw in the "low five ... al-right," at the end, and I almost want to crack open a beer. Two gay commercial moments: one) the Snickers car-repair-kiss. What the hell is that? two) the Chevy HHR apparently gets men to strip and rub themselves on it. Is there a bigger sign that a car is made for 'mo's? The CareerBuilder ads were good, as was the dog that wanted to be a Dalmatian. That's about it though.

4) Does anything big ever happen in Miami without Gloria Estefan? I heard she's singing the national anthem at the NAIA division II women's volleyball championships taking place in Miami later this year. Seriously, is she the only famous person to come from Miami? And, what kind of a glory hound is she? At least Prince has produced some other talent. When was the last time you heard someone make it big who started as part of the Sound Machine? Never. Laser that mole and show me your back scar or get off my Super Bowl coverage.

Bonus goal: Yeah, I never actually commented on the game itself so here we are. At one point in the third quarter, the Sex Cannon was 8-10 with a tuddy. I refuse to hang this one on his head alone. Yes, two fumbled snaps, a muddy slip and a pick-six (which came later) isn't good, but he had some limited chances, what with the Bears D unable to get Peyton off the field. Not enough pressure from the front four, and too conservative when it came to corners vs. wide receivers. The point of the cover-2 is to be able to roll safeties over to pick up the wide-outs so the corners can stick underneath outside routes. Tillman and Vasher routinely carried the Harrison and Wayne too far upfield because the safeties were giving enormous cushions, hence Manning worked underneath all day.

As bad as it sucks, my team was one of two teams playing at the end and no one thought they could even get here with the gunslinger at the helm. Hopefully he improves enough to eliminate the sub-40 passer rating games next year. Three more words: Sign Lance Briggs.